"Another little bit to the right and I would have had it in..must keep practising"

Coop car park

If I asked you to park a JCB here and you didn't quite manage it, I would be understanding...but it's just a four door family saloon for crying out loud.

• 

PC Dibble checking boot for weapon of mass destruction..."Not to worry, it's just one of Charley Barley's black puddings".

"Oh what the heck, I'll just park it here."

This should get me a few bob on Ebay

Now if you are a very naughty parker, this is what might happen. Let this be a warning.

With the lack of car parking space at the present time in Stornoway, there is nothing more annoying than heading into one of them and finding it full up...but with one car taking up two spaces. What planet are these people on? Inconsiderate is the word. Beware all you two spacers...I shall be watching.

Buy one space, get one free

As long as Pinky and Perky don't spot me

White van man